Apparently Pippa (then) Middleton  ignored my advice to her, for her best man, in my last post. There are many simple ‘rules’ that would have helped him. if he saw them he ignored them. The result according to various press reports was dismal :

‘posh wedding guests squirming’,  ‘best man turns air blue with bawdy jokes’, lewd best man speech flops’,  ‘toe-curling ten minute address made several close-to-the knuckle references including likening Pippa to a dog’, ‘crude sex references’  ‘unfunny, dull, clichés,’  ‘beyond cringe’,  ‘awkward silences’ and ‘dull, disrespectful and pilfered from the internet’.

The best man is quoted in one paper as saying : “As far as I’m aware it went fine.”

On the premise that typically the only speeches that get talked about are the bad ones, then he may have achieved some desired ‘celebrity’.

However…. if he had noted these simple ‘rules’ everyone would have liked his speech, not just him.

  1. Do not embarrass anyone, particularly the couple, don’t wash dirty linen in public
  2. Tell stories not jokes, particularly off the internet. Sound false and can fall flat
  3. Don’t go on too long, temptation to hog stage. 7 minutes enough for most
  4. Don’t just talk to your peer group. Grannies will not ‘get’ your in-jokes
  5. Check your speech with the real heroes of the day, the couple. Don’t be the hero.
  6. Think about what your audience want to hear, not what you want to say.

For more wedding speech wisdom check my  book Unaccustomed As I Am… The Wedding Speech Made Easy  in bookshops and on Amazon